My journey has changed.

2 1/2 years ago I was pregnant.   After seeing the heartbeat at 6 weeks 3 days it was a huge surprise to hear the sad news at 11 weeks that there was no longer a heartbeat. The baby stopped growing at about 7 weeks.  Well I am now 7 weeks pregnant  and feeling extremely emotional. I am scared.  I think I will be scared until I hold our baby in my arms.

I guess that is what this journey does to us.  When everything is good we are forced to see the possible disappointment. I can't seem to shake all of the pain of the past few years. I know I should be happy and purely ecstatic but I can't help but to feel nervous all the time too. I tell myself, if I could just feel the baby kick I would feel better.

Breaking down, I called my IVF clinic and asked if I come in for an earlier ultrasound. This was Thursday.  They agreed to see me the next morning and my husband happily took the day off.  I think he was more interested in knowing if it was one baby or two.  For me I just needed to know if it was there and viable.  It was effecting my every day life and I was breaking down.


Well... it is 1 Baby!  Measuring 7 weeks this past Friday, four days ahead of what I thought. 

The heartbeat was 133 and I was told that is strong.  

I feel relieved and hopeful!  

I will continue to post my weekly progress and I thank you for still following even though my journey has changed.  

8 comments:

  1. This post almost made me cry. So happy for you. Believe God is faithful! I know the first trimester keeps us on our toes but try and enjoy it.

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  2. Congrats to you I felt the same way after we finally got pregnant I kept telling myself I would feel better after 12 weeks then after I could feel him move then after 24 weeks it just kept going on even after he finally got here it was a whole new set of worries I dont think it will ever end. I am not sure if its from the trauma of having to try so hard to get our babies or just how mothers are but the feelings are normal good luck excited to see updates!

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  3. Pregnancy after infertility and loss is it's own challenge. Happy to cheer you along on this journey! Yea for a beautiful, strong baby!

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  4. This is wonderful news!!! I am so glad they were able to let you come in and make sure everything was ok :)

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  5. Hugs. I know those feelings of fear and uncertainty, and I am sure they are much worse after a loss. Good for you for asking for the early scan. Never be afraid to ask a medical opinion if you are worried, even if you think you might just be crazy. Peace of mind matters!!

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  6. Congrats! I'm glad your clinic was able to get you in!

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  7. Awwwww hey beautiful baby :) keep growing for your mama :)

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