If you have been through the roller coaster of previous IUI or IVF rounds you may be the only people that truly understand. This is not meaning to sound insensitive or aloof to anyones feelings for what you may have endured but the toll it has taken on me, my spirit, my body and emotions is reckless and unforgiving.
Round #1 - I felt so exited! I just knew that it would work and hey if it didn't it would the next round.
Round #2 - I had survived a pregnancy loss at 11 weeks terminated with DNC. I had let time go by and felt hopeful - exited even. I really wanted to be a mom and pondered a lot about the # of eggs to put back.
Round #3 - I was a seasoned pro. I went to every appointment by myself and thought to myself "sweaty.. don't drag him to every appointment" to all the other woman. I felt entitled. It had been a lot of appointments. Too many blood draws to count. Ultrasounds and injections. I was a robot.
Round #4 - Starting to get nervous I was still exited. I made a whopping amount of eggs over 1 dozen! But sadly only 1 poor quality embryo was formed.
This was about 6 months ago. I am finally back to "normal"
The drugs are what kill me. I turn into a different person. A lesser version of me and the sad thing is when I am in the moment I think I am myself. My poor husband. It takes months to wash it away!
Round #5 - Is Now. This is our last round. I am feeling exited. It has been since the first round that my husband came to any appointments.
- I have decided to have him at both the retrieval and transfer this time.
- No talk of this not working allowed
- Enjoying each day as a gift
- I am allowing myself to google baby stuff, dream about being a mom
pic form my first round