Vacation is over so back to being a chauffeur it is! I am feeling a tad under appreciated these days. People say being a mother is the hardest most under appreciated job in the world. I have to disagree and say Stepmother-ing is. The expectations of love and care with the unspoken code of silence when it comes to matters of importance is a lot for any strong woman to keep up. To take care of children who are not my own - that if it were up to them, would want their parents together... Sometimes I feel as if because I am a second wife to my husband that not only does my husbands family not want to get to know me but they do not care for my feelings. They do not see me as a close tie to the children or as the love of my husbands life but as someone unwanted in the middle. No I was not the "other" woman but it is how I feel I can be treated at times (wether they mean to or not) especially when the kids mom is there.
My reward is my husband! He gives me the love and appreciation to keep me going! I never dreamed as a child I would grow up to be a stepmom. I certainly never hoped I could share my Christmas card space with another woman's children. Coming into this situation I dreamed we would set the bar for others, show them how it was done - become close allies and 1 unit for the kids. I was wrong and there is nothing I can do to change this.
I just have to know that even though I may be under appreciated that I am the one who sees clearly, untainted by past hurt, jealousy and anger. I am definitely untainted and am the one who truly sees and wants what is best for the kids ...so I continue on. I put myself after them and who ever they hold dear. Maybe my new family will warm up to me over time - maybe they won't. I am content with my life and happy I am able to separate reality from emotion.
Sending out positive vibes to all you stepmothers out there!
There are more of us than you know..